-- By Banupriya A.
With Athai in 2011 When a girl gets married, she will pray to God for a good husband. I think I was a little different in that. Not only did I pray for a good husband but also for good in-laws. My prayers were not only answered but surpassed.
The time I spent with my mother-in-law ("Athai" in Tamil) in these eleven years that Aravinth and I have been married was very little, as she lived in India & we live in the U.S. But I sure had some sweet and fun times with her.
My earliest memories of Athai are from 2004, when I had just gotten married. I remember going to Shenoy Nagar for the first time after our wedding. I slept a little late in the morning (until almost 11AM), which I normally could not do to as my dad didn't like us to sleep after 6AM. The reason I slept that late was also because Athai had switched off the lights, closed the bedroom windows and doors, so naturally I thought it was still night! I came out of the bedroom at 11AM, apologized and went to brush my teeth. When I finished and came out, Athai was standing there with a cup of milk with Pediasure in it (as i don't drink coffee or tea). That was so sweet of her.
Children, Child Rearing and Cooking
Athai had extraordinary interest and patience with these three things. Her sons were the whole world for her. I know that from the amount of times she had spoken of them - the childhood stories of her sons and the number of times she had repeated them - to the extent that I feel like Aravinth's mom because I know everything that Aravinth did since he was born and even the idlis she ate when she was pregnant with Aravinth. I am sure Pavithra Akka (my sister-in-law/co-sister) feels the same about Arul Machaan (my brother-in-law).
Athai did not have a chance to come to the U.S. when my son Theerun was born because of her health. But every chance she had after that till the last minute of her breath, she enjoyed every moment with Theerun. The last two years, she was not able to travel to the U.S., but thanks to technology, Athai would talk and play with Theerun on Skype. In fact, one day, she was with him on Skype and playing with him for two hours - they both "went" to the museum, on the train, to the zoo, riding a car, seeing different animals, making different foods, coloring, etc. - as I was cooking and finishing up work (Aravinth was not home). She did help me in whatever ways she could as it definitely takes a whole village to raise a child.
Athai loved to cook. I admired her in that respect because she would do it with so much ease. Aravinth and Athai had a lot of discussions regarding food and recipes. She also loved to explore new foods although she didn't eat much. I have seen her being fascinated by the foods that Aravinth ordered (Aravinth is a major foodie) and have seen her enjoy watching others eat.
Fun Times
Athai loved to talk. You just had to listen :-) She could go on for hours. Whenever I was finishing up the day's work at night after Theerun and Aravinth had gone to sleep, when I was doing work all by myself, I would call Athai for company so I could finish all the work without falling asleep! She would give me company, talk for hours, and when I said that I was done with my work and it was late in the night and I was going to bed, she would say okay, goodnight, and then talk for one more hour :-) Then, I would have to say that I was going to fall down sleeping and finally she would put the phone down. I am sure going to miss that.
Once, when she was here in the U.S., I did a facial for her and she was so excited about it - even commented, "O, this is what all the girls at my college do and that's why they have good skin". That was a very normal comment from someone who was always surrounded by men at home and who worked in a women's college, and I enjoyed it!
Anything to do with her sons and her family brought joy to her. She would be sleepy, in fact she would sleep within 10 minutes of starting a movie, but would sit and watch just because we were all watching the movie together.
Mother-in-law/Daughter-in-law Time:
Athai was a very good mother-in-law to me. We shared a lot of good times together.
Grandmother Time
As I mentioned earlier, Athai loved child rearing. She was a wonderful grandmother to Adhiban and Theerun. When Athai and Mama were in the U.S. in 2011, she had a great time with Theerun. When they were ready to leave to India, she was almost in tears and asked us if we could change the flight ticket when she was in the airport!
I used to send her a lot of pictures of Theerun. She would literally do a Ph.D. thesis on every picture of her grandson. She loved him so much. She had a good time with him when we were in India for my brother Balu's wedding in August 2014. She would handpick clothes, books, and learning DVD's for Theerun all the time. She would have added more value to her grandchildren if she had stayed on with us for a longer time. But I am sure God knows best. Theerun still struggles to understand when I say that his Aatha (Tamil for grandmother) has gone to God and she won't come back to talk to him on Skype nor is she going to be there in Chennai when he goes to India. But I am sure she is watching over Theerun and all of us from heaven.
The time I spent with my mother-in-law ("Athai" in Tamil) in these eleven years that Aravinth and I have been married was very little, as she lived in India & we live in the U.S. But I sure had some sweet and fun times with her.
My earliest memories of Athai are from 2004, when I had just gotten married. I remember going to Shenoy Nagar for the first time after our wedding. I slept a little late in the morning (until almost 11AM), which I normally could not do to as my dad didn't like us to sleep after 6AM. The reason I slept that late was also because Athai had switched off the lights, closed the bedroom windows and doors, so naturally I thought it was still night! I came out of the bedroom at 11AM, apologized and went to brush my teeth. When I finished and came out, Athai was standing there with a cup of milk with Pediasure in it (as i don't drink coffee or tea). That was so sweet of her.
Children, Child Rearing and Cooking
Athai had extraordinary interest and patience with these three things. Her sons were the whole world for her. I know that from the amount of times she had spoken of them - the childhood stories of her sons and the number of times she had repeated them - to the extent that I feel like Aravinth's mom because I know everything that Aravinth did since he was born and even the idlis she ate when she was pregnant with Aravinth. I am sure Pavithra Akka (my sister-in-law/co-sister) feels the same about Arul Machaan (my brother-in-law).
Athai did not have a chance to come to the U.S. when my son Theerun was born because of her health. But every chance she had after that till the last minute of her breath, she enjoyed every moment with Theerun. The last two years, she was not able to travel to the U.S., but thanks to technology, Athai would talk and play with Theerun on Skype. In fact, one day, she was with him on Skype and playing with him for two hours - they both "went" to the museum, on the train, to the zoo, riding a car, seeing different animals, making different foods, coloring, etc. - as I was cooking and finishing up work (Aravinth was not home). She did help me in whatever ways she could as it definitely takes a whole village to raise a child.
Athai loved to cook. I admired her in that respect because she would do it with so much ease. Aravinth and Athai had a lot of discussions regarding food and recipes. She also loved to explore new foods although she didn't eat much. I have seen her being fascinated by the foods that Aravinth ordered (Aravinth is a major foodie) and have seen her enjoy watching others eat.
Fun Times
Athai loved to talk. You just had to listen :-) She could go on for hours. Whenever I was finishing up the day's work at night after Theerun and Aravinth had gone to sleep, when I was doing work all by myself, I would call Athai for company so I could finish all the work without falling asleep! She would give me company, talk for hours, and when I said that I was done with my work and it was late in the night and I was going to bed, she would say okay, goodnight, and then talk for one more hour :-) Then, I would have to say that I was going to fall down sleeping and finally she would put the phone down. I am sure going to miss that.
Once, when she was here in the U.S., I did a facial for her and she was so excited about it - even commented, "O, this is what all the girls at my college do and that's why they have good skin". That was a very normal comment from someone who was always surrounded by men at home and who worked in a women's college, and I enjoyed it!
Anything to do with her sons and her family brought joy to her. She would be sleepy, in fact she would sleep within 10 minutes of starting a movie, but would sit and watch just because we were all watching the movie together.
Mother-in-law/Daughter-in-law Time:
Athai was a very good mother-in-law to me. We shared a lot of good times together.
- I had gifted her a painting of Goddess Annapoorani that I had hand painted. She loved that picture. She used to tell me that since the day she put up the picture in home, food never runs out on the dining table.
- We talked a lot over the phone - more than anyone could imagine.
- We would drive to Aravinth's office talking about nothings.
- She always helped me out in cooking whenever she came to the U.S.
- We would go shopping together in India for me and she would patiently wait for me outside the dressing room until I tried out each dress and showed it to her.
- She even shopped dresses for me when I didn't ask for it and surprised me!
- Even for Balu - Eswari's wedding (my brother's wedding) that happened in August 2014, she went with me to the tailor shop for picking up wedding clothes, planning with me and my mother on which jewelry to wear, etc.
Grandmother Time
As I mentioned earlier, Athai loved child rearing. She was a wonderful grandmother to Adhiban and Theerun. When Athai and Mama were in the U.S. in 2011, she had a great time with Theerun. When they were ready to leave to India, she was almost in tears and asked us if we could change the flight ticket when she was in the airport!
I used to send her a lot of pictures of Theerun. She would literally do a Ph.D. thesis on every picture of her grandson. She loved him so much. She had a good time with him when we were in India for my brother Balu's wedding in August 2014. She would handpick clothes, books, and learning DVD's for Theerun all the time. She would have added more value to her grandchildren if she had stayed on with us for a longer time. But I am sure God knows best. Theerun still struggles to understand when I say that his Aatha (Tamil for grandmother) has gone to God and she won't come back to talk to him on Skype nor is she going to be there in Chennai when he goes to India. But I am sure she is watching over Theerun and all of us from heaven.
 With Theerun (2011) |  At the airport (2011), departing from the U.S. |
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