​​Harnessing the expressive power of Tamil in four crisp phrases, Dr. Kanthimathi makes pithy and amusing observations on the styles of contemporary youth.

Translated:
The face that should be shown, half covered in hair
The body that should be covered, half shown
The English spoken so full of holes
A pronunciation hunt at the tip of the tongue!

  -- By Arulnambi K.

Amma loved going to the beach. She liked to sit and watch the waves, the boats and the people. After one such visit on a full moon day, she wrote the following:

Translated:
Today is a full moon day
We went to the beach
We saw the sand and the sky
We saw the ocean, stretching as far as the eye could see
We saw the clouds and the planes high up in the sky
We saw everything, and everybody
We did not see the moon, though (on this full moon day)

Today, February 9, it has been two years since Amma left behind her family and this world, and departed forever into the heavens. She was our sun, our moon, our shining star, and not a day goes by without her permeating my thoughts, the way I think and even the way I act. She will forever be the missing moon on my full moon days.

The beauty of the Tamil language lies in its brevity. Dense ideas can be expressed with just a handful of words by a skilled writer. The above poem by Dr. Kanthimathi is one such creation. In just eleven words, it postulates the ultimate futility of human existence by tracing its progress through life's beginning, development and end. Here is an attempt at a translation that tries to do justice to the word play and the brevity:

O Human! Will you...
Begin as a captive in the womb,
Grow as a captive of convention,
And end as a captive of circumstance?

  -- By Arulnambi K.

Amma was only 4 feet and 7 inches tall, physically frail even when she was young, and generally not an example of what a rugged and healthy physique would be. In 2010, when she was 63, she was diagnosed with colon cancer. She kept the news of her ailment very private and only a few people knew about it. She did not want to attract fuss and attention, and thought that she would feel sicker if people kept calling or visiting to see how she was doing. Cancer treatment is generally grueling, to say the least, but she went through two rounds of it in the next three years. She once told me that it was sheer willpower and not physical strength that got her through two surgeries in two years followed by several rounds of adjuvant chemotherapy. She had only my father by her side through most of this treatment.

Last year (2014), Amma's cancer was back, and she knew it. She skipped her regular schedule of medical checkups with her surgeon and oncologist, knowing that she could not go through yet another round of treatment. She had decided not to seek treatment if the cancer came back again, but kept her condition and this decision to herself. As the pain started and she weakened steadily as the year progressed, she was able to anticipate her end months in advance. As she was wont to do, Amma started to plan for it to the extent that she could. She went into her twilight not wanting to trouble her loved ones, but with courage, dignity and a pained melancholy which will linger in my mind forever. 

In December 2014, I happened to go to India to deal with an emergency at work, and got to visit my parents. Amma's condition was a jolt. I decided to go back to India on family medical leave within two weeks. I went back just before Christmas, and thus started the most turbulent and momentous three months of my life.

[ This series of essays is a meditation on the last days of my mother's life and the blessed time I was able to spend taking care of her. It seeks to shine a light on the last days of a great soul - on lessons learned, health, family, relationships, love and hardship. ]

[ The above Tamil poems were written by Amma sometime in 2014. English translations are included here as well. ]

[This is the first of several Tamil poems written by Dr. K. Kanthimathi that will be presented on this website. Whenever possible, a scan of the original poem written in Dr. Kanthimathi's impeccable handwriting will be displayed along with the typed version.]